Mother’s Day Dreams

May 2023

Recently I was having coffee with a couple of friends and one of them happened to ask me when my mother passed away. It has been nearly 20 years, I replied. That night I had a dream, a dream so vivid I still remember every detail.

In my dream, I heard a knock on my front door. I opened the door and saw my mother standing on my front porch. She was wearing a dark green silk sari and looked healthy and vibrant, the mother from my youth.

Where have you been for the past 20 years, I asked her as I led her into the kitchen. She put a hand on my shoulder and answered in a soft voice, Ponnu (her pet name for me, meaning precious one), I’ve been here all along.

The next few hours were the happiest time of my life.

I showed my mother all my favorite spots in Davis. We visited the Farmer’s Market, the Food Co-op and Nugget. I showed her the school library where I had worked for more than 15 years. We went for a walk around my neighborhood. I introduced her to my friends at the fitness club and we finally came home to cook a meal together. She made tomato chutney and idlis (fluffy steamed rice dumplings). I woke up before I could taste her cooking.

For a moment I was disappointed our visit was over, but I was also overjoyed to know she was always beside me.

As I lay in bed, I thought about my aunty Christine who passed away a few months ago. It dawned on me that she, like my mother, would always be watching over me. It was a thought that brought me much joy and contentment. It was an epiphany of sorts.

I look forward to dreaming about my aunty one day. I’ll open the front door to find her standing on my front porch.

I would ask her, where have you been all this time, aunty?

She would reply, niecey, (her sometimes pet name for me), I’ve been here with you all along.

Then she’d walk into the kitchen, and I’d offer her a cup of tea and slice of rich chocolate cake, the flourless kind with a bittersweet frosting. She would take a bite and say, mmm, my favorite.

Then, we’d sit down and have tea and cake and I would talk and talk and tell her all about my life. She would nod and listen, like she always did. What a dream that would be!

Happy Mother’s (or Aunty’s) Day, everyone! Hug your loved ones.